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Any suggestions?

Any suggestions? Topic: What are the key parts of a business plan
June 16, 2019 / By Zibia
Question: Okay before anyone gets harsh I know I am in the wrong here but....here is what is going on....I am 40 years old. I have been married to my current husband (2nd) for 15 years now. About a month ago I got this feeling that something was going on, that he was flirting heavy with someone else or that he was actually having an affair. I could not get over the feeling and I have never felt like that before. So, I decided that it must be something with this 23 year old he worked with at one job then left that job for a new employer and took her with him (along with two other employees) which indicated a possible "flirtation"...okay also to add to the mix there was a rumor that went around that they were involved and they had plans to attend a social function (with others) and so all this raised alarm bells. Long story short on the day of the social function I went to check up on my man and she was there with her boyfriend and there were other people there so no indication of trouble. So, I also purchased a key logger and have been checking the computer to see if he was up to anything and I obtained the passwords to his email accounts. For two weeks I have been checking and no issues. I have checked the call records for the cell phone and other than one incident there are no issues. My question is how do I get over this feeling? What may be causing me to feel this way after all this time of trusting him I am now obsessed with knowing where he is and who he is with (never been that way before)...I question everything. I have also lost 9 lbs and am 5'4" 120 lbs now so can't really afford to lose any more weight at my age but can't eat when I start getting the idea in my head that he is cheating. He has repeatedly told me that he wants only me that he loves only me that he will do anything to improve our marriage and put my fears to rest. Part of the problem is I work 3p-midnight, Sun-Thu and he works a regular day shift M-F...he has a new job with more responsibilities and has to dress more professional (which I take as him "dressing up") and has a lot of business to take care of during the work day while I have the same boring job..lol ;) One good thing that has come out of all this is our sex life is now hotter than ever. What I think is....he was feeling unappreciated and she was flirting plus since this new job is a better working environment with a raise for her she was smart enough to see the opportunity and make sure she was invited along. I also think that whatever might have been transpiring is totally done now and he is behaving but I think part of the problem is he won't admit the flirting took place so I am feeling like he thinks I am crazy making things up...Please help me...has anyone else ever had such a random change in trust issues with their spouse...any ideas what I can do to correct? Like I said I know what I am doing is wrong. I know that logically there is nothing going on that I should be worried about. Yes I have spoken to him and he understands because I have NEVER been like this in 15 years so there is a history that I am not just some jealous crazy woman. I think it may be hormones so I have an appointment with my gyno tomorrow and am asking to be tested. I appreciate the suggestion for a therapist/psychiatrist cause I have been wondering if that might be helpful too. AND I KNOW IT IS SAD I HAVE TO POST THIS ON A BOARD RATHER THAN HAVE SOMEONE IN MY LIFE TO ACTUALLY DISCUSS THIS WITH SO PLEASE BE KIND.
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Best Answers: Any suggestions?

Sherah Sherah | 10 days ago
One good thing about these forums is that they are anonymous so you can chat about anything you want. Its good sometimes to bounce around ideas with totally unknown people. Now for my opinion; you just sound a little insecure to me, nothing to panic about. You're 40 years old and sounds like you're in nice shape physically. Your husband must still be very attracted to you if he's jumping your bones regularly. It's also not abnormal to feel a little jealous if your partner has a better job, or one that others might view as a better job. It has to be difficult juggling schedules when you work separate hours. Just keep doing the best you can. Try to relax a little, keep giving him the good stuff and keep snooping in those emails every now and then. Just don't get obsessed with it. You sound fine to me. Work on that confidence!
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Sherah Originally Answered: Any suggestions?
One good thing about these forums is that they are anonymous so you can chat about anything you want. Its good sometimes to bounce around ideas with totally unknown people. Now for my opinion; you just sound a little insecure to me, nothing to panic about. You're 40 years old and sounds like you're in nice shape physically. Your husband must still be very attracted to you if he's jumping your bones regularly. It's also not abnormal to feel a little jealous if your partner has a better job, or one that others might view as a better job. It has to be difficult juggling schedules when you work separate hours. Just keep doing the best you can. Try to relax a little, keep giving him the good stuff and keep snooping in those emails every now and then. Just don't get obsessed with it. You sound fine to me. Work on that confidence!

Peg Peg
You're suffering from a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It could be a hormonal imbalance that has triggered it. I am not a professional so I can't really help more then this. I would make an appointment with a therapist to find out what is going on. One thing I can tell you is it doesn't mean you are crazy or that you are going crazy. Because of some strange chemistry in your head it gets an idea and can't let it go. My daughter had the same problem when she was younger. A minor sign of it was when she would get worried that she left her curling iron on. She would call me from school and have me check it for her. I would assure her it was turned off and everything was fine, but then not 30 minutes later she would call and say, "Are you SURE it is not on". This would keep up all day on some days. I took her to a therapist and she was put on medication and now the problem is under control.
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Marina Marina
Have you ever watched the show "Cheaters"? It's a reality show where people just like you suspect their spouses or significant other cheating on them, so they call up the show and the show has their own private investigators who follow the suspected cheating spouse & record everything they do and who they're doing it over a 2-3 week time period. After a few weeks they report back to you with any findings (or no findings), and show you the video footage if they did catch them doing something they shouldn't bave been doing. In California the show comes on late at night--like 2:00 A.m. on the station called G4. They also have a website, I believe it's www.cheaters.com. You should check it out and maybe have your spouse checked out by them!! :) Good Luck!!
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Kristel Kristel
Flirting is not a big deal and happens all the time. Sometimes body language is much more telling than flirty emails so even if you find an email, it may be no big deal. If your husband starts keeping this woman a secret and goes to lunch with her alone (things that have nothing to do with work) then I would ask him about it. If you're in a state of paranoia all the time, you will probably miss out on what your real intuition is so relax.
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Jazmin Jazmin
Hey, when you get done tracking down his every move you should be experienced enough to get a job on cheaters..... Only question now is do you have the guts to tell him what you have been doing...... You have some serious trust issues and looks as though you've been pretty *****t*y to him....... If he finds out and decides to to put it to that 23yr old...more power to him..... Ladies like you are part of the reason some guys cheat......
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Fairuza Fairuza
Well just because she was there with her boyfriend doesnt mean that her and your husband never flirted. I would just keep an eye on the situation but dont come out and accuse your husband until there is solid eveidence but usuallly if you have a strong hunch you should take heed..
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Concordia Concordia
Try the following directry...they do swimming wear for higher females however it's also quality for pregnant females because it presents help and dosn't make you seem frumpy. My recommendation might be to seem on the web as there are lots of webpages in the market that focus on maternity put on that truthfully appears satisfactory!
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Berry Berry
well you might want to get some help from a shrink. if he was cheating on you, you most likely would have found out by now or had proof for it. i don't see why you need to feel insecure about your relationship, unless you feel the need cheat on you or feel like you can't satisfy him enough for him to feel the need to go out and cheat on you. did you talk to him about how your feeling? if you don't let him know and keep doing what your doing. its going to you who's gona drive him away and make him feel like he needs to cheat on you.
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Affricah Affricah
It sounds like you are bored and seeking entertainment in the form of romance drama. My suggestion is to fill this need by watching soap operas or something. Leave the poor guy alone and stop snooping through his personal stuff before he finds out and becomes angry.
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Affricah Originally Answered: Book help? Suggestions?
I like writing fiction, and I've found the best way to do it is accumulate enough random ideas (random inspiration from thoughts or activities) over time until you have enough to weave into one story. This isn't helpful for your situation since you're in the middle of writing, but you can still use the same approach. Just take a break from writing for a while and go about your daily tasks. Look at different things around you and think through random thoughts. You'll be surprised how many little ideas you can get when you're not even looking for them. When you have enough little ideas, they can come together in unexpected ways. So take some time off writing to relax and think. It works for me, so I hope it does for you as well! ^_^

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