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Does this sound realistic.what do you think?

Does this sound realistic.what do you think? Topic: How to write a crying sound
June 16, 2019 / By Monday
Question: erm this is like a section from one of my chapters of my novel what do you think? does it sound ok? --------------------- “What is going on?” cried a Tai. Niamh twisted the same look she gave Seth was now aimed at her Angel. He seriously had to stop barging in on her like this. She had to admit at was getting a bit tedious. “Nothing,” she said her voice as sharp as ice. “Doesn’t look like nothing.” “I was writing.” She motioned towards her closed laptop. “Whilst kissing him.” “No, I closed the laptop and then kissed him. It would be stupid to both at the same time.” “Why where you kissing him?” Niamh laughed glaring at him. “I honestly don’t think that’s got anything to do with you!” she stood up and walked over to Tai. “That’s my business.” “I'm your Angel, I'm meant to make sure your safe.” “She is safe with me mate, I would do anything to hurt her,” said Fynn standing at Niamh side. “You keep out of this,” Tai hissed. “Don’t have ago at him, he’s right.” “No I don’t think he is.” “And what’s he going to do to me then? Kidnap me? Rape me? Murder me whilst I sleep?” “I wouldn’t put it past him.” Niamh’s jaw fell, stunned to silence as Tai fumed in front of her. “Excuse me?” she whispered. Unable to believe what she just heard. “I said I wouldn’t put it past him!” “Tai, you are being so ridiculous, so what if I kissed him, I'm happy, I cant believe your causing an argument over this.” “I'm causing the argument? You’re the one who cant see he’s not good for you.” Niamh took a deep breath in. her hands shook as she turned to Fynn. “Do you mind,” she gestured to the doorway. “I think I need to talk to Tai alone.” Fynn nodded and looked more than eager to escape the building row. “Thank god he’s gone, maybe now you will listen to me,” Tai said. “Seriously, what is your problem?” “He’s my problem. He’s twenty for god sake. He’s taking advantage of you.” “He’s done nothing of the sort, he apologised for kissing me. He pulled away.” “Just a charade to get you to like him even more.” “You are unbelievable.” How could he be saying this to her. “After everything Fynn has done for you.” “He’s done nothing,” Tai spat, “except lure you into his trap.” “His grandfather built this place, he is Nye’s brother. He has as much say in who stays here as Nye does and he let you in when you needed a place to stay. He has fed you a prevented you from being butchered by Dark Angels.” “You are going off subject.” “No I don’t think I am. As soon as Fynn started paying attention to me you turned sour. We have done nothing but argue over him. Its not fair Tai, I know that you know you are doing it. You did it with Nathaniel too. When you found out about us it took everything I had to stop you going and punching his lights out. Whenever I find someone I like you butt in and ruin it all.” “I am only doing it to protect you.” “NO!” Niamh cried, “you are doing it to protect yourself. You are jealous of me paying attention to someone else. Don’t deny it, I can read you like a book.” “I…I…I can’t believe you have just said that.” “Can’t believe me! Maybe you should look at yourself first. You have possibly just ruined everything. You are my Angel Tai but sometimes I really wish you would just disappear!” she pushed around him and fled the room.
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Best Answers: Does this sound realistic.what do you think?

Linsy Linsy | 10 days ago
Everything in brackets from hereon in are suggestions. I noticed a few little mistakes, such as: "Niamh twisted the same look she gave Seth was now aimed at her Angel - doesn't make much sense. Maybe it should be "Niamh twisted, the same look she gave Seth now aimed at her Angel." And in a few places you should begin a new paragraph, so the reader knows who's speaking and responding. Such as: “Why where you kissing him?” Niamh laughed glaring at him. “I honestly don’t think that’s got anything to do with you!” she stood up and walked over to Tai. “That’s my business - Should be: “Why where you kissing him?” (Tai pressed.) Niamh laughed, glaring at him. “I honestly don’t think that’s got anything to do with you!” And: “I'm causing the argument? You’re the one who cant see he’s not good for you.” Niamh took a deep breath in. her hands shook as she turned to Fynn - should be: “I'm causing the argument? You’re the one who cant see he’s not good for you.” Niamh took a deep breath in. her hands shook as she turned to Fynn. And here, you should distinguish who is speaking, so: “She is safe with me mate, I would do anything to hurt her,” said Fynn standing at Niamh side. “You keep out of this,” Tai hissed. “Don’t have ago at him, he’s right.” “No I don’t think he is" - should be: “She is safe with me mate, I would do anything to hurt her,” said Fynn standing at Niamh side. “You keep out of this,” Tai hissed. (Niamh glared at her Angel once more) “Don’t have ago at him, he’s right.” “No I don’t think he is," he replied. And in this part - “I…I…I can’t believe you have just said that.” - maybe included a description of how Tai looks, or sounds when he hears her accuse him of being jealous. And, finally, that last bit. Small grammatical error. "You are my Angel Tai but sometimes I really wish you would just disappear!” should be: You (may be) my Angel Tai, but sometimes I really wish you would just disappear!” Other than those very very small things, FANTASTIC WRITING. Usually, i'm hard to please, but I absolutely love it! Please feel free to e-mail me chapters or sections for review/opinions. You really do write VERY well. I want to know the story. Haha. e-mail me! - [email protected]
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Linsy Originally Answered: Does this sound realistic.what do you think?
Everything in brackets from hereon in are suggestions. I noticed a few little mistakes, such as: "Niamh twisted the same look she gave Seth was now aimed at her Angel - doesn't make much sense. Maybe it should be "Niamh twisted, the same look she gave Seth now aimed at her Angel." And in a few places you should begin a new paragraph, so the reader knows who's speaking and responding. Such as: “Why where you kissing him?” Niamh laughed glaring at him. “I honestly don’t think that’s got anything to do with you!” she stood up and walked over to Tai. “That’s my business - Should be: “Why where you kissing him?” (Tai pressed.) Niamh laughed, glaring at him. “I honestly don’t think that’s got anything to do with you!” And: “I'm causing the argument? You’re the one who cant see he’s not good for you.” Niamh took a deep breath in. her hands shook as she turned to Fynn - should be: “I'm causing the argument? You’re the one who cant see he’s not good for you.” Niamh took a deep breath in. her hands shook as she turned to Fynn. And here, you should distinguish who is speaking, so: “She is safe with me mate, I would do anything to hurt her,” said Fynn standing at Niamh side. “You keep out of this,” Tai hissed. “Don’t have ago at him, he’s right.” “No I don’t think he is" - should be: “She is safe with me mate, I would do anything to hurt her,” said Fynn standing at Niamh side. “You keep out of this,” Tai hissed. (Niamh glared at her Angel once more) “Don’t have ago at him, he’s right.” “No I don’t think he is," he replied. And in this part - “I…I…I can’t believe you have just said that.” - maybe included a description of how Tai looks, or sounds when he hears her accuse him of being jealous. And, finally, that last bit. Small grammatical error. "You are my Angel Tai but sometimes I really wish you would just disappear!” should be: You (may be) my Angel Tai, but sometimes I really wish you would just disappear!” Other than those very very small things, FANTASTIC WRITING. Usually, i'm hard to please, but I absolutely love it! Please feel free to e-mail me chapters or sections for review/opinions. You really do write VERY well. I want to know the story. Haha. e-mail me! - [email protected]
Linsy Originally Answered: Does this sound realistic.what do you think?
Not in any detailed order: a million. The sound of a child's voice, babbling and cooing two. Wind chimes three. A wolf refrain within the mountains four. Wind within the bushes five. A robin's track, each within the early morning and within the night time 6. Jazz . . . the funkier, the greater! 7. A saxaphone . . . performed through anyone who is middle is damaged eight. Waves crashing at the seashore nine. Winter wind 10. Boots crunching within the snow eleven. Salvation Army band on Easter morning 12. Seniors making a song Christmas carols thirteen. My mom gambling piano (would possibly she rip) 14. My grandmother making a song (would possibly she rip) 15. My daughter's mispronunciations as a little one sixteen. Conversation across the dinner desk 17. Sleigh bells on a horse pulling a sleigh 18. A a long way-off coach whistle, in particular in iciness 19. The crackle and snap of a camp hearth 20. A child's snicker

Kamryn Kamryn
Not in any detailed order: a million. The sound of a child's voice, babbling and cooing two. Wind chimes three. A wolf refrain within the mountains four. Wind within the bushes five. A robin's track, each within the early morning and within the night time 6. Jazz . . . the funkier, the greater! 7. A saxaphone . . . performed through anyone who is middle is damaged eight. Waves crashing at the seashore nine. Winter wind 10. Boots crunching within the snow eleven. Salvation Army band on Easter morning 12. Seniors making a song Christmas carols thirteen. My mom gambling piano (would possibly she rip) 14. My grandmother making a song (would possibly she rip) 15. My daughter's mispronunciations as a little one sixteen. Conversation across the dinner desk 17. Sleigh bells on a horse pulling a sleigh 18. A a long way-off coach whistle, in particular in iciness 19. The crackle and snap of a camp hearth 20. A child's snicker
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Haleigh Haleigh
You have a lot of grammatical errors, and some of your dialogue is a bit stiff and formal. And make sure that you keep your characters organized. In the beginning, it's a little difficult to tell who is in the room and which characters are male and female. Other than that, yeah, it's okay.
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Haleigh Originally Answered: No sound on my computer - already reinstalled sound driver?
I think it is a hardware issue. Either the IDE or DMA settings of your machine are having conflicts, or the sound card is burned out. Most likely it's a setting. Try booting into the machine setup utility and look for a menu that allows you to see and modify the IRQ settings. Before this, try the Help and Support menu in Windows and run its' troubleshooters. This will lead you to the Device Manager program, which may be able to at least pinpoint if not fix the problem. As I read in an excellent self help book on computer problem solving: "It may be wiser to go shopping than to spend hours of time messing with DMA settings". Personally, I opted for the hours of time; fixed the same problem and learned a lot in the process.

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