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How detrimental is it on a child with asperger's to have his last name change?

How detrimental is it on a child with asperger's to have his last name change? Topic: Prophecy of the sisters 2
June 16, 2019 / By Kathleen
Question: How detrimental is it on a child with asperger's to have his last name change? I'm actually seeking life experiences as I have read a LOT of material on asperger's. My husband and I spoke with my step-son's pediatrician regarding the name change prior to filing the motion with the courts. She did not see where it would have a lot of bearing on the child. His mother disagrees and says that we have no clue and neither did the pediatrician (cause she only sees him a few times a year). I spoke with my step-son's mother this evening and she said that since they told him that his last name was changing he has been terrible, acting out in school, being mean to his little sister. She said he did not want it changed (I had my last name 31 years before I got married and it was hard giving it up then). When he was on his visit this past weekend he was very indifferent to it aside that he had his mothers last name the last 7 years. Help me see how this is causing him to 'act up.' I think I need to add a few things real quick before there's too much confusion: 1). I do not hate my husband's ex one bit. As for the name change, my husband wanted his son to have his last name at birth but it was not permitted by the ex. Yes, there are extenuating circumstances as to why he didn't follow thorugh with this previously. 2). I'm seeking personal experiences not personal attacks on the "step-mom." I'd like to learn more about asperger's. All I know is what I have READ. What I have read says there are spectrums of asperger's- some worse than others.
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Best Answers: How detrimental is it on a child with asperger's to have his last name change?

Hephzi-Bah Hephzi-Bah | 1 day ago
My nephew has Asperger's Syndrome...and I think that maybe mom is enabling him to use it as an excuse to act up in school and at home. Look up self-full-filling prophecy and you will know what I mean. My sister-in-law treats my nephew as a regular child, he never gets special privileges or treatment because of his syndrome. He is just fine with changes =) Sorry to seem so harsh, but I think that a lot of parents let children get away with things because of a disorder. He is still a child, who needs to learn self-discipline. It's good that you are a step-mom who cares about her step-child (there are so few of us out there, it's kind of sad).
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Hephzi-Bah Originally Answered: How detrimental is it on a child with asperger's to have his last name change?
My nephew has Asperger's Syndrome...and I think that maybe mom is enabling him to use it as an excuse to act up in school and at home. Look up self-full-filling prophecy and you will know what I mean. My sister-in-law treats my nephew as a regular child, he never gets special privileges or treatment because of his syndrome. He is just fine with changes =) Sorry to seem so harsh, but I think that a lot of parents let children get away with things because of a disorder. He is still a child, who needs to learn self-discipline. It's good that you are a step-mom who cares about her step-child (there are so few of us out there, it's kind of sad).

Earlene Earlene
A child with aspergers would have a VERY hard time adjusting to something as drastic as a name change. My son has a really hard time just adjusting if I put the milk in the wrong place in the fridge. He will tell you that it doesn't matter because you are the "sometimes" people. The people that are the "always" People (ones he sees on a daily basis) will get the brunt of his frustration. Obviously, the pediatrician that you talked to does not specialize in Aspergers. Unless it is being required by the government for some reason, let him keep his identity. What benefit would it have of changing his last name? I don't know what would possess your husband to want to change his last name if he didn't step up and recommend it at birth. If he persisted at birth, it would have been settled before he knew his name. You said that you had your name for 31 years. Do you have Asperger's also? I don't understand why you would reference yourself in this unless you do? It is like saying, I can eat chocolate, why can't my friend who is a diabetic? Do a little more research before you ruin this child's life.
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Celestine Celestine
Listen do not get mad ---You are the new mom first of all. (meaning not MOM) Mom is playing child to get back at you two. Father and you both retaliate. Then the son is being torn from his father and his mother at the same time. When his name changed he felt like this situation was his fault. He is acting out because he feels guilt and he doesn't understand that this is not his fault, or why the change occurred. My Advise For someone who is not a direct parent of the child really only needs to mediate the situation not be involved. Dad needs to step up and talk with the child. Long distant mom needs to release her hate that she holds on the ex. And then learn to work together. This is not a competition on who's right. Its much deeper than that.
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Annitra Annitra
For some kids with asperger's change is okay if they have time to prepare. Being presented with a fact that concerns them is not okay and they'll be off whack for a while. If it were presented to him with more tact, the damage may have been less. The mom was right. When checking on how something effects the child talk to someone who KNOWS the child, preferably his psychologist.
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Yancey Yancey
Is the kid's name currently his mother's last name, and you and your husband want to have it changed to yours? If so, it just sounds like it is the child's mother who doesn't want it changed. She is just using her son's asperger's as an excuse to get her way.
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Yancey Originally Answered: How is a homicide detectives job going to change? (I don't like change)?
Every job in every sector of the market changes - and will continue to change. The only way to NOT change - is to become Amish and go live where technology will not be allowed. Aside from that, the depiction of detectives on TV, in the movies or in books - bears little resemblence to reality, sorry. Especially the OLD movies. Homicide work is often about doing research on computers, spending long hours writing reports - and being frustrated because you KNOW somebody is guilty but you can't PROVE that he is. That part, at least, will probably never change.

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