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Can you edit my short story?

Can you edit my short story? Topic: Article review assignment essays
June 16, 2019 / By Jeffrey
Question: can you please critique it? can you also correct my tenses? Once again I was working the late shift at Maxine’s Gas Station. I had already told Cliff I couldn’t work tonight, due to the fact that I had to do an important assignment due tomorrow. But as always he didn’t seem to care. When I told him that I had homework to do he said , “It’s not my problem if you have homework, you should by now know how to manage your time. Not just because you’re going to school are you more important then the others.” In a way Cliff was right, but how could I do my work if he always had me working every night. Might just as well get the best out of this night. That night at the gas station I followed the same routine as every other night. I first went to clean the restrooms, which were as dirty as ever, sweep the store, then mop it. After I finished all that I went outside, and swept the entrance. As I was sweeping I heard some loud noises, they were motorcycle engines. I turned my head around trying to identify where the noises came from. When all of a sudden a motorcycle appeared. It was not only one motorcycle, they were about ten. And they weren’t riding alone, most of them had someone else riding with them. One by one they entered the parking lot parking their motorcycles perfectly next to each other. As they took of their helmets slowly, I noticed that the men were very handsome. I felt trouble coming, I usually feel when something is about to go wrong. It’s a family kind of thing. I tried ignoring them and instead went inside hoping they would leave soon. I grabbed a motorcycle magazine and started flipping through it. I can’t understand why men like this things, they are just plain boring to read. I continued flipping through the pages when the entrance bell rang. I looked up and noticed that they were the motorcycle guys. One guy was smiling at me, which I totally ignored and went back to my reading. I flipped another page and saw a half naked women, I could now understand why men liked this magazines. I put the magazine to the side, and look at the motorcycle guys. They looked up too, then went back to what they were doing. They were talking in really low voices. seriously people! you can not just say that something is amazing...that is not critique. To Critique is- –noun 1.an article or essay criticizing a literary or other work; detailed evaluation; review. 2.a criticism or critical comment on some problem, subject, etc. 3.the art or practice of criticism. –verb (used with object) 4.to review or analyze critically. ANALYZE CRITICALLY (is the keyword)
Best Answer

Best Answers: Can you edit my short story?

Garret Garret | 5 days ago
Once again, I was working the late shift at Maxine’s Gas Station. I had already told Cliff I could not work tonight, due to the fact that I had to do an important assignment due tomorrow. But as always, he did not seem to care. When I told him that I had homework to do he said , “It’s not my problem if you have homework, you should by now know how to manage your time. Not just because you’re going to school are you more important then the others.” In a way Cliff was right, but how could I do my work if he always had me working every night. Might just as well get the best out of this night. That night at the gas station I followed the same routine as every other night. I first went to clean the restrooms, which were as dirty as ever, sweep the store, then mop it. After I finished all that I went outside, and swept the entrance. As I was sweeping I heard some loud noises, they were motorcycle engines. I turned my head around trying to identify where the noises came from. When all of a sudden a motorcycle appeared. It was not only one motorcycle, they were about ten. And they weren’t riding alone, most of them had someone else riding with them. One by one they entered the parking lot parking their motorcycles perfectly next to each other. As they took of their helmets slowly, I noticed that the men were very handsome. I felt trouble coming, I usually feel when something is about to go wrong. It’s a family kind of thing. I tried ignoring them and instead went inside hoping they would leave soon. I grabbed a motorcycle magazine and started flipping through it. I can’t understand why men like these things; they are just plain boring to read. I continued flipping through the pages when the entrance bell rang. I looked up and noticed that they were the motorcycle guys. One guy was smiling at me, which I totally ignored and went back to my reading. I flipped another page and saw a half naked women, I could now understand why men liked these magazines. I put the magazine to the side, and look at the motorcycle guys. They looked up too, then went back to what they were doing. They were talking in really low voices.
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Garret Originally Answered: Can you edit my short story?
Once again, I was working the late shift at Maxine’s Gas Station. I had already told Cliff I could not work tonight, due to the fact that I had to do an important assignment due tomorrow. But as always, he did not seem to care. When I told him that I had homework to do he said , “It’s not my problem if you have homework, you should by now know how to manage your time. Not just because you’re going to school are you more important then the others.” In a way Cliff was right, but how could I do my work if he always had me working every night. Might just as well get the best out of this night. That night at the gas station I followed the same routine as every other night. I first went to clean the restrooms, which were as dirty as ever, sweep the store, then mop it. After I finished all that I went outside, and swept the entrance. As I was sweeping I heard some loud noises, they were motorcycle engines. I turned my head around trying to identify where the noises came from. When all of a sudden a motorcycle appeared. It was not only one motorcycle, they were about ten. And they weren’t riding alone, most of them had someone else riding with them. One by one they entered the parking lot parking their motorcycles perfectly next to each other. As they took of their helmets slowly, I noticed that the men were very handsome. I felt trouble coming, I usually feel when something is about to go wrong. It’s a family kind of thing. I tried ignoring them and instead went inside hoping they would leave soon. I grabbed a motorcycle magazine and started flipping through it. I can’t understand why men like these things; they are just plain boring to read. I continued flipping through the pages when the entrance bell rang. I looked up and noticed that they were the motorcycle guys. One guy was smiling at me, which I totally ignored and went back to my reading. I flipped another page and saw a half naked women, I could now understand why men liked these magazines. I put the magazine to the side, and look at the motorcycle guys. They looked up too, then went back to what they were doing. They were talking in really low voices.

Garret Originally Answered: How would you rate this short story?
That's really too short to be a "short story" and is more along the lines of "Flash fiction" or "Sudden fiction", two rapidly growing markets of VERY short but still meant-to-be-taken-seriously work...so keep writing! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_fiction There are dozens of Flash Fiction "magazines" on-line, perhaps you should send work to some... http://www.google.com/search?q=flash+fiction+competition&btnG=Search&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=9Lg&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&sa=2

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